Since I Don't Have You
by Eternita14
Summary: Jude's coming home from her first tour. Only a few miles away from Toronto the bus crashes leaving everyone seriously injured. Jude awakes to find nothing the way she left it, not even the decade. How is she going to deal with this new time?
1. Coming Home

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 1: Coming Home

Jude's POV. New story! It seems like I'm coming out with new ones all the time huh? But with it being so cold, I'm not taking my skinny ass out into it, so I stay in a few nights more a week. More time for me to write.

This is just the intro, I wanted Tommy's POV to come before I jumped into the bulk of the story.

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

I just finished my final show in my first ever tour. It's been an unbelievable couple of weeks but I'm ready to go home. I want my comfortable bed and familiar people around me. If I have to hear about makeovers from my chaperon one more time I'm going to kill her! E.J. is great but if I wanted to spend the whole time hearing about cosmetic and crap like that I would have stay in Toronto with Sadie. 

Now I'm sitting on the bus, waiting for when we would arrive home. I was leaning against Kyle as we watched reruns of I Love Lucy. I love this episode. This is the one where Lucy and Ricky do the tango and she has a bunch of chicken eggs in her shirt. I always laugh during this show. Soda just came out of Spied's nose. He says he doesn't watch Lucy, "she doesn't know comedy", but I think he'll start now. He should see the episode when she steals John Wayne's footprints. Frowsy Redhead. Don't get me started on the trip to California, too many good ones.

A few hours later I'm sitting up alone. All the boys went to the back of the bus and E.J. is getting her beauty sleep. I could see all the stars twinkling in the distance. Being far from a city there were no lights to block out the sparkling lights of the night. I put my journal away and sighed at how my song came out. Why does _he _have to be the one I want to see the most? I have a great boyfriend waiting for me but my mind is always on Tommy. I don't want to feel this way for him!

I pulled my ratty baby blue blanket around my shoulders and leaned back into my squeaky Naugahyde seat. Slowly I felt myself drifting towards sleep when I heard the loud sounds of horns blaring and tires squealing. The whole windshield lit up from the headlight of an oncoming vehicle. I was jolted forward, my head cracking against the Formica table in front of me. In the distance I heard the twisting of metal before I lost consciousness.

* * *

These are the lyrics to the song I used for the title. They loosely inspired the story. 

I don't have plans and schemes,  
And I don't have hopes and dreams,  
I-I-I don't have anything  
Since I don't have you.

I don't have fond desires,  
And I don't have happy hours,  
I-I-I don't have anything  
Since I don't have you.

I don't have happiness, and I guess  
I never will again.  
When you walked out on me,  
In walked old misery,  
And he's been here since then.

I don't have love to share,  
And I don't have one who cares.  
I-I-I don't have anything  
Since--I don't--have--  
You, you, you, you  
You, you, you, you  
You, you, you, you  
(Yo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ou)

* * *

Review please! 

Chapter 2 is almost finished, I'll post it soon.

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


	2. Sleeplessness

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 2: Sleeplessness

Tommy's POV. Oh yeah, just to be clear Sadie never went to Europe and their parents are still together.

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

Jude's coming home tomorrow or today since it's after midnight. Why am I so excited for that? I know why, we're pretty good friends and I haven't talked to her since the day before she left. But I shouldn't want to see her _this _much. To where it's keeping my up at night. 

To my left Sadie is lying with her back to me. Why didn't she go home? I don't like to share my bed after I finish sating my desires. I'm never really sated though. A certain redhead is all I want to be with in that moment. I have to close my eyes and bite my lip so I don't say her name as I feel the slight rush. Yes, slight. I don't have the amazing feeling I used to before she came into my life.

Another heavy sigh and I turn to lay on my side, facing away from the blonde. She was a mistake, I can admit that now, I can't change what I've done. I would if I was given a chance but that won't happen. I'll live with the consequences. I have no choice.

Lights from passing cars enter the room through my large, unadorned window. I knew I should have moved, I can't take the blaring horns and blinding lights. I also have to deal with a stop light, it has to be the brightest one in Toronto.

I heard Sadie moving, like she wanted to be near me. Please keep your distance. Don't touch me. Well, I always have a guest room. Her hands touched my shoulder as I scooted further away from her. All the contact we had is done, I sat up and rubbed my temples like it would help the pain.

My phone started to vibrate, rattling on the side table. Who would be calling me at three in the morning? I looked at the caller I.D. Kwest? "What do you want?" I'm miserable and I don't want to deal with anyone.

"Tom," could you speed this up? I've got a blonde I need to avoid, she keeps inching closer. "You need to get to the hospital in Markham. There... there's been an accident." I could tell by his voice he was upset over this.

"What kind of accident?" I was mildly interested now. What happened to where he'd be calling me?

"Jude." I froze when he said her name. My vision went black for a second. "Her tour bus was in a head on collision with an eighteen wheeler." I could hear sobbing in the background.

"How bad is she hurt?" I managed to choke out. Do I really want to know? She could be dead. Breathing was difficult as I waited for the answer.

"I'm not sure. I'm only halfway to the hospital. Darius told me that she was unconscious when they brought her in." I could hear more sobbing and someone trying to calm the hysterical woman

"Why didn't you call me sooner?!" I nearly yelled into the phone.

"Something the matter Tom?" Sadie voice was drowsy. I felt the mattress shift from her moving closer to me. I shrunk away from her touch.

"I'm taking Jude's parents to the hospital. I called so you could bring Sadie." His voice started to get exasperated. What, he wouldn't have called if I didn't have Sadie with me?

"I'll leave now." I hung up and started looking for my clothes. I tossed the skirt and blouse behind me and got my jeans.

"Tommy what's going on?" I didn't pay much attention to her as I dragged my shirt over my head.

"Jude was in an accident. Get dressed we have to get to the hospital in Markham." I'm not wasting anymore time than I already have.

"Oh my..." I turned back to see her look like she was going to faint.

"I don't have time for this. Get dressed so we can leave." My voice was closing in on shouting.

"She's my sister. Why are you so worried about her?" She was angry as stood there watching me. She didn't even bother covering herself, which made me feel even more guilty about what I've done with her.

"Two minutes; you're dressed and ready or I'm leaving without you." I left her to do what she decided to do. I grabbed the keys to my car and headed for the door. Sadie came running out of the bedroom seconds later.

"Do you know how bad she's hurt?" She asked as she slid her sandals on.

"No, call Darius maybe he can tell you something." I slammed the front door behind me and rushed down the few stairs in front of my place.

"Darius?"

"He's already at the hospital. But I don't think they'll tell him anything." I jumped into the car and started the engine. Sadie barely closed the door before I took off. The tires squealed as I moved a neck breaking speed.

The drive lagged on as the miles passed slowly. I was going over eighty and still I couldn't get there fast enough. I tossed my phone to Sadie, "Call Kwest, see where the hospital is." We were only a few miles away when I told her that.

"He said once we get into the city we'll be able to see it from the main street." Her voice held no emotion as she set my phone in a cup holder.

He was right, I pulled onto the street and turned off the car. I started walking towards the building, fear growing with each step. Fear of her injuries and the fear overtaking most was that Jude wouldn't even want me there. After what I did to her, choosing Sadie the way I did...

Sadie kept pace with me, I tired to put some space between us but she wouldn't have that. At one point she tried to hold my hand. I managed to get out of it by pretending I had to cough. Lame but it worked. We finally got into the building, it was surrounded by reporters.

I'm used to having a camera shoved in my face but now is not the time. It may be their luck day that this story involves a hospital. Sadie grabbed my arm to keep me from killing someone and pulled me into the building.

"Jude Harrison," Sadie said to the lady at the desk.

"Relation?" She asked in a dry tone, I think she's had more than a few people coming for Jude.

"I'm her sister."

"Your her fifth sister to come here in the last twenty minutes." She gave Sadie a suspicious look.

"Ma'am, this is her sister." Her face became dreamy as she looked up at me. "I told you I can get you in anywhere." I said to Sadie, giving her a trademark smile, I turned away from her and asked where I could find Jude. She stumbled over her words but most of it made sense.

I wasn't happy when I found out this was intensive care. It made all the fear worse that it had been.

I stood at the glass, looking into the room I'm not allowed in. Sadie sat by the bed, she barely touched Jude, only her fingertips grazed the back of Jude's hand.

"Jude?" Her face was so badly bruised, swollen, it almost didn't look like her. Sadie's voice was tentative as she spoke. I turned away and leaned against the wall. I didn't want to look at her anymore. I feel responsible for this. I set up the tour for her.

"Why are you here?" I asked to Kwest as he stood next to me.

"I already told you that," he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Why did you bring her parents?" I'm doing my best to keep my mind off of this, but its not working.

"Darius called me and wanted me to inform her family. I thought it would be better to tell them in person instead of over the phone. I have a heart." Is he insinuating something?

"How's everyone else doing?" In my rush I didn't think to check on anyone else. Jude was all I could think about, but that'll never been much of a change.

"Not good." His voice was solemn as he shook his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I have no time for his cryptic crap.

"It means, Spied is in a coma. Kyle can't breathe on his own. Wally will most likely lose his leg. And E.J. probably won't make it through the night. That's what it means."

I couldn't say anything back to him as I stared at his outburst. I know I'm not the most sympathetic guy but I still have feelings and I do care about other people. "Tom?" I looked over to see Sadie at the door to Jude's room. "The nurse is giving you a blind eye, come on." I followed Sadie's line of vision to see a elderly nurse smiling lightly at me. I nodded at her once and entered the room, holding my breath as I drew closer to the motionless form on the bed.

* * *

Review please! 

I'll be posting one more chapter then its up to you if you want more.

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


	3. This Isn't Right, Is It?

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 3: This Isn't Right, Is It?

Jude's POV. I didn't expect this kind of response to this story. We'll see if you still want to read it after this chapter. Please review at least once during the story. I don't ask much.

I'm posting early because Cheechoo is back on the ice!!!! Lets go Sharks!!

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

The sun was beating through the window. I turned away only to come in contact with something that squeaked. I opened my eyes to see a green stuffed elephant staring back at me with its one remaining eye. I frowned at it, I've never had a stuffed elephant before. I opened my eyes wider to see the sunlight bouncing off of my mirror. How long have I had a mirror there? 

I dragged myself up to see the subtle pink on the walls. Pink? Who painted my room? If this is some kind of sick joke...

I saw a robe lying at the foot of my bed, so I grabbed it and put it on as quickly as I could. I opened my door – has that always been there?- and went into the hallway. Wallpaper? That's not normal. I took the stairs slowly to be sure I wasn't in some crazy dream where I'd fall through the steps if I don't hold onto the railing.

I could smell bacon cooking in the kitchen. The sounds of sizzling snared me. Mom never cooks bacon. I padded into the room. I leaned around a corner to see what was going on. Mom had her hair up neatly in a bun, a frilly pink apron secured around her waist, over her black and white polka dot dress. "Mom?"

"Good morning Dear," She smiled brightly. She's never this happy in the morning. "Why aren't you dressed? School starts soon."

"Its summer," I stated as I looked at the bacon in the pan. Being with SME for so long has me craving meat. Not just any meat, fried meat. I could feel myself starting to salivate.

"Its the first day. And you're starting a new school. You won't want to be late." She flashed me wide grin, nearly giving me a heart attack. No one should be this happy or this awake at this time of morning.

"Where's Dad and Sadie?" I asked as I took in the cheery yellow walls.

"Your father's at work and Sadie should be getting ready for school. Hurry up so you can have breakfast," she patted me on the rear to get me going. Isn't that considered child abuse?

I nodded and left to get back to that -my?- room. The pink, as subtle as it is, was still as overpowering as before. I got to the closet and saw what I have to choose from. Who changed my wardrobe? Did my manager want to change my image?

I found a pair of jeans and put them on along with a white t-shirt. I left my hair the way it was, when did I go blonde? I haven't been blonde since I was eleven. This is crazy! Okay, calm. I need to stay calm. I went back downstairs, much quicker this time. I got to the kitchen to see my mom putting the last bit of scrambled eggs on a plate.

"Jude! What are you wearing?!" I looked down at my clothes and shrugged. "You're not wearing blue jeans to school. Go change. Hurry up now." I don't have anything to wear! I'll look like an idiot in the stuff in my closet.

Take two. I pulled out a rather large skirt. Is it supposed to be _that _puffed out on the bottom? How many sweater sets am I supposed to own?! I pulled out a soft blue sweater and placed it on the bed. I guess that will go with the black skirt.

I looked over to see a vanity full of makeup. Something familiar, finally. I picked up the products and applied them accordingly. At least I don't look like I'm scared half outta my mind. I found the bathroom across the hall and washed the powder clinging to my hands off and went to go back downstairs.

I looked around at the furniture, the outrageous colors around the room. Why is pink such a popular color? I entered the kitchen, looking around for any hint of what the year was. I sat in the closest seat, continuing my search of the year. Mom walked up and place a large helping of food in front of me. There's enough here to feed Kyle _and _Wally.

"Can't I just have a pop tart?"

"Jude," She was smiling through her confusion. "Even if I knew what that was, no. Eat your eggs." She poured a glass of milk and set the pitcher in front of me. "Hurry up now, you have to leave in ten minutes." She said after a few minutes when she noticed I didn't touch my food.

"Morning Mom," Sadie said as she bounced into the room taking the seat next mine. Grabbing a glass of juice. Mom came back over with a half of grapefruit. Why does she get that and I'm stuck with the half a pig on a plate?

"Jude," she sneered slightly as she dug into her fruit. Mom sat across from Sadie with the other half of the fruit. I looked down at my food disgustedly and unwillingly ate the eggs. Two slice of bacon later and I didn't want to hear the word food again.

"Something the matter Jude? You hardly touched you breakfast," hardly touched it? I ate all the eggs, two piece of bacon, a slice of toast, and drank half of the milk. I'm a human girl, not a elephant girl.

"I'm just nervous about starting school." Did that sound believable? I'm guessing it did, she gave me a sympathetic smile. Reaching across the table she patted my hand and pulled away quickly.

"Speaking of which, you two better get going." She stood and took the plates from the table.

Two? I thought Sadie graduated. "Right, come on Jude," Sadie pulled on my arm to get me out of the chair.

"Have a good day girls," she called as Sadie dragged me out of the house. I looked around at all the houses. This looks like the neighborhood I grew up in but a lot brighter. There's green, not brown, grass. The houses look new, and there are no crack in the sidewalk for me to trip over.

"Keep your distance from me. Walk at least ten feet in front of me." That would be fine with me if I knew where I was going. Maybe its the same as when I'm at home. This kinda is my home, but I mean the decade I grew up in.

"Just go," I rolled my eyes and bent over to retie my saddle shoe. I have to admit, these are really cute. I'm not fond of the skirt, but I'm loving the shoes.

I looked up to see Sadie going in the direction of the school. So far its in the same direction as home. I followed her, semi-close, not giving her reason to yell at me. I looked around at the others making their way to school. They all looked familiar, just like the kids I went to school with, back in the twenty first century.

I glanced back to see a tall, gangly looking boy. If I wasn't mistaken I'd think it was Jamie. I shook my head at the thought and continued on my way.

I didn't notice how close I was to Sadie until I bumped into her. "What are you doing?" She hissed as she faced me. "I told you, ten feet," can I just slap her now and get it over with? She seems worse than usual.

Going up the stairs I heard a loud rumbling in the direction of the parking lot. I looked, along with everyone else, at the black motorcycle coming to a stop by a car full of guys in leather jackets. This is so Grease, its not even funny.

So that would mean he's Danny Zuko. So where's Sandy? I watched as he got off of his bike and took off his sunglasses. Oh my... that's Tommy. Or Tommy's father? So Sadie is Sandy. Makes sense. She's blonde, her name starts with a 'S'.

Hello, so are you.

My name doesn't start with a 'S'.

No, but you're blonde!

Why am I having conversations with myself? But I need to tell myself off now. I know I'm blonde, I pointed that out earlier. Plus Tommy doesn't like me that way anymore. He wants Sadie. Phew, I'm glad I shut myself up. O-kay.

I looked back at the Tommy lookalike briefly, he was staring up at me. A smirk forming on his lips. Great he sees me as a conquest. I already know Sadie has dibs on him. I think the whole Tommy drama is going to repeat itself. Or is what happened to me before the repeat?

I rolled my eyes and walked into the building and to the office. Registering was easy. I got my schedule and headed towards my first class. The teacher sat me in the remaining seat, in the back corner. I didn't pay much attention to the person next to me until I heard him laugh.

"Spied?" I looked at him and his slicked back hair. He was one of the guys in the car Tommy pulled up next to. He can't be part of Tommy's gang. Him and Kyle and Wally? But they hate him.

"How do you know my name?" Please, I know your first name. Uh-oh I need an excuse.

"How can she not know your name?" Kyle piped in at the right moment. Great another smirk, this one from Spied. If he hits on me I'm going to hit him.

He was leaning towards me, the smirk still firmly in place. "No, she's Tom's." Wally tried his best to whisper but it didn't work. Wait, I'm Tommy's? Oh, I'm territory. Maybe it will keep all the other idiots away from me. It worked at getting Spied away from me.

Why does Tommy want me? Sadie is his type, not me. Well he is in high school, so maybe it's because we're closer in age than back in my time.

I didn't notice class ended until I saw everyone heading for the door. I gathered my things and followed the others. Spied, for some odd reason stayed by my side. The look of lust in his eyes. Hey now, they said I was Tommy's

"Where are you going next?" He asked, moving closer to me as he did. I told him and he said that was his next class and that he'd walk me. Whatever floats your boat buddy.

"So why do you all wear matching jackets?" I smiled coyly as I walked to my next class. I knew that answer but I wanted to hear someone say why.

"I belong to a gang," he said nonchalantly, shrugging lightly.

"A gang? Are you the leader?" Why am I flirting with him?

"No," he admitted grudgingly. "Tom is. Even though I should be." His bitterness was palpable as he spoke about Tommy.

"Why aren't you?" Did I just bat my eyelashes? I've watched one too many episodes of Lucy. That's it! This is all a horribly realistic dream. I'm going to wake up any minute now at home with everyone all twenty first century.

"I'm just waiting to take over. Tom won't know what hit him." Is he going to kill him? And why is he telling me this?

If I wasn't sure I was dead, I'd faint right about now.

* * *

Review please! 

The 50's have always been my favorite era. So you'll be getting a mix of all the popular movies and TV shows in this. Inspiration came from I Love Lucy, Crybaby, Gidget, Pleasantville, and so on. Even the title is from a 50's song.

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


	4. Come Back To Me

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 4: Come Back To Me

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

I sat in the chair next to her bed. The monitors beeping slowly. Her breathing was even slower. I gently took her hand in my own, not wanting to disturb the wires and tubes surrounding her.

"Jude, I'm so sorry." I brushed my lips across the free skin of her hand. I've never been emotional but I feel something near the surface. I don't know what I was apologizing for. Her being in the hospital. How I'm always hurting her. Just being me. I could apologize for so many things.

I heard the door open, I looked back to see Sadie standing there, watching me. "What?" I growled at her. Turning back to Jude's lifeless body. I don't need anymore people seeing me like this.

"You need to hurry. You can't stay in here much longer." She was surprisingly sympathetic to me as I clasped further onto Jude's hand.

"They'll have to drag me outta here. I'm not leaving her like this."

"Tom," she placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to... comfort me I guess. "You're just going to make this harder for everyone. Come on we'll get some coffee."

"No," I moved away from her horrible touch.

"Do you want to get that nurse in trouble for letting you in here?" She's trying to guilt me out of here? "Tom you'll see her later. I'm sure she's not going anywhere." Not the best way to lighten the mood. I frowned at her, showing her that its not appreciated. "Sorry," she looked sheepish as she grabbed my hand and took me from the room.

♪_I don't have plans and schemes, And I don't have hopes and dreams, __I-I-I don't have anything, Since I don't have you.__♪  
_

I'm positive I'm in the fifty's. This is too much like Grease and Crybaby. Wait! Is Johnny Depp going to be here? If he is I'm not going to try to find my way home. But I'm no Allison, even though I'm dressed like her and I can sing.

"Miss Harrison!" I was shocked out of my daydreams of Mr. Depp by the large, sweaty math teacher in front of me. If he gets any closer to me I'm going to vomit from the smell of him. Is deodorant not reliable in this era? Do they have deodorant?

"Yes?" I answered timidly. I don't want any attention on me. I could ruin the time/space... thing. I could change the future.

"What is the answer to the question on the board?" I looked up at the chalk board and then the equation. He really wants me to answer that? I couldn't answer that to save my life. Its a good thing I think I'm dead.

"Me and math are not friends. We're not even frienemies." Maybe I shouldn't have used that word. I looked around to see all the kids looking at me strangely. I don't know much of the lingo for this time frame.

The teacher, if I knew his name it might help, had a brow raised as he stared at me. "Mr. Andrews, the answer please." I waited for the boy to speak. I knew instantly that the voice was Jamie's.

I wanted to look back at him but I didn't want it to be obvious I was looking at him. So this is an alternate universe, where everything is the same except the time period. I'm so dead.

The class dragged on and on. There was no end in sight. Spied was staring off into space when I flashed him a glance. I think he has a Jude sense, seconds later he turned and caught me looking at him.

I started to tap my fingers against the wooden desk top. Maybe if I annoy the teacher enough he'll throw me out of the class. I saw the anger building in him. I just kept up with my drumming, watching as he raised his brows at my blatant disrespect.

Lucky for him, all of us really, the bell rang. Spied was at my side, picking up my book and walked me to my next class. I could see Jaime with a look of hate in his eyes. Please don't tell me he's jealous of Spied.

"Thanks Spied." I took my things from him and entered the class. Not much happened from the walk to here. Spied blathered on about his... his... I'm not sure. I didn't really give him that much attention.

I found a seat near the back and plopped into the chair. I was gazing out of the window to my left, thinking about how it would be to be home. Seeing my parents and Sadie. Jamie. Tommy.

Well I am seeing them, just not the way I wanted. There was a tap on my shoulder, the hand preceded to run down my arm, sending shivers along with it. I looked up to meet familiar blue eyes staring back at me.

I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I mean, what am I supposed to say? "Hi, you look hot no matter the decade"? I've never been flustered by him like I am now. I continued to stare up at him dumbly, he looks exactly the same as he does in the twenty first century. But somehow more gorgeous than ever.

I finally found my voice, "Who are you?" Did that sound convincing?

"Tom," was all he said as his sly smirk appeared again.

"So you're Tom? I've heard about you," I saw his smirk grow, "from Spied." I purposely use his nickname to see how Tommy would react.

"And what did he have to say?" His voice was flat as he looked annoyed. I guess I hit a nerve.

"Can't really say." I don't think I'm brave enough to say that he's want to overthrow him. "But Wally said plenty."

"Wally?" I nodded and smiled at him. "Aren't you going to tell me?" He leaned closer to me, I felt his breath on my face. If he's trying to distract me, it's working.

"He said I was yours. Now what does that mean?" Just because I'm in the time of female submission doesn't mean I'm going to fall in line. I watched as his brows quirked, like he was taken aback by what I said. "Aren't you going to tell me?" I threw his line back at him.

He lucked out because the teacher started to speak. I turn away from him but not before I flashed him my own taunting simper.

♪_I don't have plans and schemes, And I don't have hopes and dreams, __I-I-I don't have anything, Since I don't have you.__♪_

I was looking around the nurses and doctors walking with purpose around the floor. I saw my chance to get back to Jude and I took it.

She looked like she had more color than the last time I saw her, fifty minutes ago. I would've been here sooner if it wasn't for Sadie and Kwest taking me to see everyone else. Kyle was still struggling to breathe, they hopefully save Wally's leg, E,J. isn't doing any better, and Spied... well Spied hasn't woken yet.

Jamie arrived twenty minutes ago and has been going between everyone. He's bounced to every room but hasn't been able to get into Jude's room. Darius put security detail at her door when a crazy photographer broke in.

I'm pretty good friends with the guys so they let me right in. I took the same hard plastic chair as I was in earlier. Carefully I held her hand, she didn't respond or react as she always did when I touched her. "Jude. Girl, you can't leave me," it was becoming harder to speak with each word. "I need you." I haven't cried in years, I don't want to start now.

"I thought about you all summer. Wanting to see you. I'm just finding out now how I took you for granted. I know that I can't be without you. I-"

"Tom." I guess someone took pity on Jamie, he's the one who cut in on my confession. I've always wanted to strangle him but this time I just might do it. "Could you?" He motioned to the door with the tilt of his head.

I gave him a stiff nod and left the room. If I act on my impulse I will most likely end up in jail. I've been there before, never want to go there again. He's in a hospital, he'll get immediate attention. I watched through the glass as he sat in the chair I vacated. Holding her hand in his unworthy one.

"Hey Kwest. Any news?" He shrugged slightly, not really having the energy to lift his shoulders anymore. He was barely able to keep his eyes open. "Kwest, go sleep. You're ready to fall over. Sadie's sleeping in the waiting room. Keep her company for me?" He didn't say anything, just lugged himself away.

"Who are you?" I heard the nurse speak to Jaime inside of Jude's room. Her voice gruff with irritation.

"Jamie Andrews. Jude's my girlfriend," he was twisted in his chair, not letting go of her hand.

"Girlfriend? But I thought..." She looked at me and was started to point, but she stopped herself and told him to leave the room immediately. He did what he was told and she went about her business, checking Jude for whatever they check for.

"Why didn't anyone call me sooner?" He was scrapping my last nerve, his attitude wasn't well received.

"Why are you asking me? I don't have your number." I did, Jude gave it to me so I could reach her no matter what. I deleted it as soon as she left the room.

"I should've known it was _you _who was supposed to call me." He spat as he glared at me. Where is this coming from? I just said I don't have his number. If he talks to me like that again I'm not to be held responsible for my actions.

"Jamie you should go now before I lose my temper." I was gritting my teeth the whole time. There's no one here to stop me and I doubt the nurses could save him.

I saw the anger in him building but he walked away. He knows damn well that he can't take me. Can't compete with me. Especially when it comes to Jude.

* * *

Review please!

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


	5. Mine

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 5: Mine

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

As soon as the bell rang, I was out of my seat and half way out of the door before he caught up to me. His hand clutching my arm. Wow, he doesn't like to be teased does he?

"No one treats me like that and gets away with it," this was one of the few times I ever felt fear when dealing with Tommy. "You're coming with me." he said as he took my hand and pulled me along. I felt like a child's toy with how he was handling me. Pulling me like my hand and arm was a string and knob.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" People stood and watched what was going on but did nothing. Even a teacher was gawking at the spectacle we were making. He looked like he was going to say something, but Tommy shot his a dirty look and he all but ran back into his room. I though he was going to dive under his desk just to be sure.

We passed by Sadie, she gave me a worried glance, that was until she saw who was dragging me along. Her eyes narrowed, her nostrils flared. She looked like a raging bull, not attractive in the least, and I was the one holding the cape.

I stumbled slightly as we headed for the back of the school. Looking up I could see Tommy had an almost apologetic expression. So this "too cool" Tommy has feelings. So, he is different from the one of my time.

While I was helplessly being dragged around I took the time to appreciate the beauty that was Tommy. Even though I have no clue what he plans to do to me I can't help but stare. His shoes looked to be motorcycle boots, black. His jeans covered most of the boots. I kinda spaced out in the area just below the black leather belt. I couldn't help it. It just looks so firm and... Is it hot in here?

I pulled at the neck of my blouse the best that I could. He had one hand and my other was holding my books. They were starting to get too heavy to hold. Come on, I'm not a muscle person. Can't he see that?

At last he stopped. Is this the janitors closet? The small space was making me claustrophobic. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I did my best to put on a brave face. "What do you want?" I ripped my arm away from his grasp. Mainly because he let me.

"I thought you heard from Wally what I wanted?" he invaded my personal space and I was just fine with that. I wanted to be very accommodating while he was in Judeland.

Well, he's never really going to _get in _Judeland, if you know what I mean. But while he's around he should feel catered too. I'm not making sense anymore. Not that I ever really do.

_I don't have plans and schemes, And I don't have hopes and dreams, __I-I-I don't have anything, Since I don't have you.  
_

I was sitting outside the hospital. I found a way onto the roof, this would be the only way I got any privacy. The sun was just starting to cast a glow in the sky.

The bricks were digging into my skin as I was leaning back on the building. I could still hear the paparazzi buzzing below me. Every time someone came into the hospital they were asking them question if they knew Jude and SME. I wanted to hit each and every one of them for their lack of respect for my girl. I mean Jude. She's not _my _girl per say. But my mind doesn't seem to be seeing it that way.

I think not sleeping is starting to affect me. "Tom?" Great, someone found me. "Quincy. I know you're up here," Jamie's voice filled my ears. That's one voice I really don't want to hear. Ever again.

"And?" Does this jackass have a point?

"I need to talk to you," he crossed his scrawny arms over his bony chest.

"What does it look like we're doing right now?" I threw another pebble off of the roof. Hopefully I'll hit one of the pests down there. Though the only pest I want to hit now is the one next to me.

"Why are you here?" the disdain in his voice was staggering. If you weren't prepared for it that is. But, of course, I'm always ready for his contempt.

"I guess it does take a genius to figure this out," I muttered before I gave him an answer he didn't deserve. "There are a couple reasons. One, Jude is my artist. We have become friends after all the time we spend together." I knew that would drive him crazy, that's why I said it. "Two, I'm dating Sadie. You know Sadie, Jude's older sister."

"I heard what you were saying to Jude before you knew I came into the room. I'm here to tell you to keep away from her. You've caused enough trouble for her," he did his best to look intimidating.

"I see you've finally lost all contact with your brain." I did my best not to laugh.

"I'm serious. Jude's my girl. Stay away from her."

"If you can't handle the fact that you're not enough for Jude, don't take it out on me." I ended up bumping into him as I passed. Not completely intentional.

I found Sadie asleep with Kwest. He was resting his head in her lap and she had her hand on his shoulder.

I took a seat next to them and leaned back into the chair. It wasn't much more comfortable than the bricks but it was more tolerable.

I didn't notice that she had woken up until she was sliding out from under Kwest. She smiled down at him as she stretched out her arms, arching her back as she did.

"Why don't we go home? You need to get some sleep." She stood to my left, looking down at me sympathetically.

I shook my head. I didn't have the energy to speak. Not that I really want to talk to her. She wandered away and I was left alone. Mostly. I still had Kwest and all the other people who had family in intensive care.

I don't know how long I sat there, with my mind not doing anything. I don't know why I felt like I was falling into the abyss. But I was.

Eventually I moved. But I was still tumbling into darkness.

My hand was pressed to the glass window of her room. I could see more and more color coming to her skin. She didn't look so close to death as she did last night.

Her parents were sitting next to the bad. Her mom was holding her hand as tears ran down her face. I watched as Sadie went into the room. She placed her hand on her father's shoulder. He smiled sadly at her and put his arm around her waist. She leaned into him, a tear was rolling down her cheek. This was a hopeless situation.

Will I ever find the right time to gain my freedom from the curse of Harrison women ?

_I don't have plans and schemes, And I don't have hopes and dreams, __I-I-I don't have anything, Since I don't have you._

I could hear my poodle skirt crunching as he closed the distance between us. He didn't seemed fazed as my books hit the floor with a thump, one in surround sound, I might add.

His fingertips grazed the skin of my throat. I couldn't find my lungs while his hands were on me. He gathered my hair in one hand, forcing me to face him. My arms seemed pinned at my sides as a seductive smile spread over his face. "Jude," he said oh so softly. My knees went weak.

He made his first move to get closer to me. But I was startled by a noise right outside the door. I knew that anyone could walk in at any time. I tried to push him away. Well, I'll keep telling myself that one. Who knows? Maybe one day even I'll believe it.

His face continued to get closer and closer to mine. I was mesmerized by his clear blue eyes, how they were getting darker the nearer he came to me. I knew this shouldn't happen. But I really, really wanted it to. I turned my head away right before his lips made contact with mine. He only caught the corner of my mouth, but it was enough for me to want him more than before. I know what those lips are capable of.

"You're not getting away that easily," was his smooth reply to my giving him the brush off. His other hand tangled in my hair and this time I knew I wasn't going to be able to turn away. But I don't think I would've tried this time.

Once his mouth touched mine I didn't know why I resisted in the first place.

As soon as he knew I wasn't going to try and escape he removed one hand from my hair and placed it at my waist. I could feel a ring digging into my back as he crushed me to him. I had my palms flat against his chest still, but it didn't take long for my hands to be at his neck. Pulling him closer to me than really necessary.

One of my hands decided to get a mind of its own and wandered down his back. The leather was soft against my skin. But the feel of denim is what leaped out in my mind. The only thing of denim that he wore was he blue jeans. So that means I was...

I didn't think about it long as he grew bolder. Nothing made sense as he held me to him, his adventurous mouth on mine. I only knew one thing. It felt like I was made just for this. For _him._

He pulled away for a breath, he rested his forehead against my own. "I knew you wanted me." His voice was smug but I didn't care. "From the first time I saw you, I could tell." I didn't have the breath or nerve to disagree with him. Not that I could and still be honest. "But you should know, the feeling is mutual." Ooh, this Tommy has a vocabulary!

"But in time you will _really_ see why I said you being mine." He left me standing in the close room. My hands were shaking, I was breathing hard. I could only imagine what I looked like. My blouse was wrinkled and half off of me, I knew my hair was knotted from his hands.

I did my best to fix myself, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. At least it was a popular way to wear it. I kept tugging at my shirt doing what I could to get the wrinkles out. Stupid fabric! There was little I could do about my makeup without a mirror. I knew the bathroom was a short run from here but I didn't know how many people were in the hall. I pressed my ear to the door.

Nothing.

I cracked it open the tiniest bit.

Nothing.

I craned my head around to see the abandoned hall. I took a deep breath and counted to three. I made a mad dash to the girls room. But only three strides from the washroom I was stopped with a hand on my shoulder.

All my muscles tensed as I waited for the person to say something. But nothing happened. Except for the fact that this person wasn't letting go. I turned, not an easy task to accomplish, and found I was under the scrutiny of very angry eyes.

* * *

Review please!

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


	6. Kiss Me No Not You!

Since I Don't Have You

Chapter 6: Kiss Me (No Not You!)

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

* * *

"Who are you?" I asked as I looked up at Jamie. I think I'm getting better at the whole not-knowing-people-that-I've-known-forever thing. "What do you want?"

"Hall pass," he growled at me. Does he ever get over the whole jealously thing? I don't know if he's worse now or back in my time. Probably now, you know, the repressed fifties thing.

"I don't have one." I gave him my best innocent look. Usually he melts when I flash him that face. Big eyes, sweet little smile. Apparently it doesn't work in this time frame. I could see he was going to launch into a very long drawn out speech but I was saved, kinda. And not by the person I wanted.

Spied walked up to me and placed a possessive arm around my shoulders. "You have to excuse her, she's new to the school," he pulled me into his side more. I smiled the best I could but I felt so uncomfortable with so much body contact.

"I'll make sure she get to her next class." he offered kindly and guided me away from Jamie. His eyes stayed glued to my back as I moved closer to freedom.

"Thanks for your help," I told his once we were out of the scrutiny of robo-nerd. He's more robotic in this life than the next. Well, he's making progress. He only has a fit like that every few weeks now. Or... he will? Grr. I'm not going to get used to this literal time change.

Three days had past and I seemed to fall into a schedule. Go to my first class, listen (pretending the whole time of course) to Spied blather on about something or other. See what I mean? I didn't give him much attention. He'd walk me to the next class and watch me from across the room. Jamie would glare at us with unabashed malice. He made me want to smack him a few times with the dirty looks he kept giving me. Come on! You think he'd grow some and actually do something about his jealousy rages. Some things will just never change.

I would be sitting in my next class, trying to ignore Tommy, but that was undoable. Is that a word? Well, it is now. I could feel his stare on me, eyes seeming to be staring _into_ me. And not just past the clothes as many of the guys did.

I tried to distract myself by singing, but the song I chose wasn't the best. I was center attention to all in the room. Did I mention that I was in the cafeteria by this time?

_Ooh, you gotta be smooth right  
__Ooh, you gotta have a letter to write  
__Ooh, if they call you a fag  
__You say 'that's right 'cause I fucked your daddy.'  
__Look cute and feel cute  
__And everybody thinks that you are the cutest  
__Look cute and feel cute  
__Fuck them bitches  
__And come on with daddy  
__Boy you gotta learn a lesson now about dirty gay stuff  
__Daddy's gonna teach you see  
__You get to be dirty in every single way  
__Get have to more style everyday  
__We can't get married but that's okay  
__We like to fuck too much anyway_

I felt hundreds of eyes on me as I came out of my daydream. I like the song, of course it won't be written for at least another fifty some odd years, and it's highly inappropriate but it's a damn good song!

Anyway, after lunch I would do my best to rush to my next class but there he was, waiting. No matter the route I would take, he would find a way to me. His hands always close enough to grab me and drag me off to some abandoned room.

Sometimes he would just look at me and ask a few questions. Other times he would have me at the waist, his mouth devouring mine. Not that I minded those times. I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, the softness and aggressiveness. I still shiver at the feel of them.

Once I almost didn't stop him when his hand was feeling a little too naughty. I can't go around here in an untucked blouse, imagine the gossip! Gasp, I couldn't live with myself. I don't think I can fit in around here, I don't have the same moral values.

Well, come to think of it, I might have higher values. I didn't grow up trying to break out of a monotony that these people have. At least I'm not turning into Rizzo and shunning condoms in the back of a dilapidated car.

I was breathless when I emerged from the broom closet. I know, total cliché, but oh, was it worth it. I looked back to see Tommy sprawled on the floor, his breathing heavy. I threw him a smile over my shoulder and closed the door as quietly as possible.

I was walking in dreams when I collided with a body. And not the one I've been making contact with as of late.

"Ah hell," I muttered trying to look as innocent as possible. Please, please, please don't let it be Jaime. But of course, my luck ran out.

"We meet again," he sneered. His voice surprisingly devious.

What, does he plan to give me a detention? Not like I haven't lived through one before.

"Another rendezvous with Quincy?"

What the hell does he know about that? "What makes you think that?" I was still a little breathless when I spoke. My lips still showing signs of passion. I watched as his eyes turned from crafty to heated. Oh no.

"Even though you are, once again, breaking the rules... I think we can come to an agreement." He took the initiative when he placed his hands in the creases of my elbows. Pushing softly into the wall a few feet away.

"What do you think you're doing?" I finally found my voice.

"Something I've wanted to do since I first saw you," he could've been romantic just then, but no. Why court when you can just take?

"Just because you want it doesn't mean that I do." I pulled my arm to the side but it didn't help.

"You want it from Tom," if he sneers at me once more I will not be held responsible for my actions.

"That is something you know nothing about," I growled as I struggled against his grip. He could never understand the longing I've felt for that man. Still feel. May always feel.

His head tipped towards mine. His hot breath blew over my face in quick secessions. I stayed as still as I could. I think if I kept up my squirming I would've aroused his attention even more. Even being a statue was doing the job a little too well.

This wouldn't be so bad if he just tried.

Not forcing himself on me.

_I don't have plans and schemes, And I don't have hopes and dreams, __I-I-I don't have anything, Since I don't have you._

A week had passed and still nothing. The doctors keep saying that she could wake up at any time. No sign of brain trauma. That's their way to keep our hopes up.

"Dude, you gotta wake up," Spied said to her as he held her hand. Spied has been conscious for only a few days and he was still weak but he wanted to see Jude. He has hardly left her side. I know how the kids feels.

The bruises on her face had faded, swelling nearly gone, making her almost look like herself. I could feel my mouth turning up into a smile when I looked at her. So innocent, so young. So out of reach. My smile fell.

Why can't I get my brain away from that? I don't care about her age, but everyone else will. Her parents especially. And then there's the subject of her sister, the one I'm currently dating.

"Has he gone home yet?" Sadie's gentle voice came from down the hall.

"No, and I don't think he's going to," my best friend answered.

"But why? There's nothing he can do here," she was almost pleading with him to help me.

I looked over to see Kwest's face. That was enough of an answer for me. He knew the exact reason, but at least he's keeping his mouth shut. Though his expression gave away more than I was comfortable with.

Now to wait for the inevitable Sadie visit.

"Tommy, honey?" her hand lay softly on the nape of my neck. "Don't you think it's time for you to go home? You need to get _some_ rest."

"No," I shrugged off her hold. Something she should have caught on to. I've done that every time she's touched me.

"But Tom-"

"No!" I said more forcefully. I'm not leaving until she opens her eyes. And even then, it's going to take a hell of a lot for me to go home.

The girl can't take a hint! She moved quickly and settled herself on my lap, fingers interlocking behind my head. "Sweetie, I love her too. But there is nothing that we can do here. She doesn't even know we're here." She whispered the last part.

"But what about when she wakes up? Do you want her to wake up and be alone?" I did everything possible to keep my temper in check. Can't be giving away my feelings.

"Tom, you know that there is always going to be someone here," he voice was soft, reasonable.

I couldn't reply to that. I can't say that I want to be here when that happens. I want to be the first person she sees. It's the least I can do. A way I can show her that I love her. Even if I can't tell her.

Sadie framed my face with her smooth hands, her eyes doing their best to hold mine. "At least come with me now. We'll get coffee for everyone." She leaned in slowly closing her eyes. But they quickly opened when I took hold of her wrists, she was expecting an eager return. That was the last thing she would ever get in this moment.

She really needs to learn how to read signals. Well, maybe not all of them.

* * *

Review please!

Song: Lookin' Cute, Feelin' Cute – Gay Pimp (Jonny McGovern)

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd! Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


End file.
